Flip the Page
A girl perpetually stuck in books, reviewing and recommending books to get you perpetually stuck in books.
This podcast will be highlighting fiction books across all genres from mainly Black authors. If you're struggling finding or deciding what books to read written by Black authors with Black characters and dope storylines, you've found the right place!
For those who love reading, those who don't love reading, and those yet to find their love of reading. This is a safe space, sis, so don't be afraid to tap in!
Flip the Page
Ep 16 | Rootless: Do They Want To Be A Mother?
Annnd she's back with another episode of Flip the Page. This week, we're gonna be tapping into Rootless by Krystle Zara Appiah.
Rootless is a literary fiction novel about societal pressures, motherhood, and sacrifice. Efe and Sam are the main characters who met in their teens entering university. After flirting around their attraction and connection, Efe and Sam eventually get together. Efe is someone who has always struggled under the overbearing pressure of her parent’s expectations and determining what she truly wants to do. She finds comfort in Sam, who on the flip side is stable in his career and has a clear vision of his and their future. Unfortunately down the line, Efe realizes the future Sam has mapped out for them is not one she wants.
Cue an unplanned pregnancy entering the chat. Sam wants to keep the baby. Efe, who has just grasped her dreams career-wise for the first time, does not. Finding the idea of motherhood suffocating and her dreams slipping from her hands, Efe disappears.
[Intro Music] Welcome back to another episode of Flip the Page. I'm your host, Zo, and today we're going to be plugging into a literary fiction novel. Yay! Literary fiction, I love you. Sorry. Anyway, today we're going to be plugging into Rootless by Krystle Zara Appiah. I hope I said that right, chile, and talking about motherhood. We love a muva. Content warnings for self-harm, depression, postpartum depression. Rootless is a literary fiction novel about societal pressures, motherhood and sacrifice. Efe and Sam are the main characters who met in their teens entering university. After flirting around their attraction and connection for years, Efe and Sam eventually get together. Efe is someone who has always struggled under the overbearing pressures of her parents expectations and struggled determining what she truly wants to do. She finds comfort in Sam, who on the flip side is stable in his career and has a clear vision of his and their future. Unfortunately, down the line, Efe realizes the future Sam has mapped out for them is not one that she wants. Cue an unplanned pregnancy entering the chat. Sam wants to keep the baby Efe who has just grasped her own dreams career wise for the first time, does not. Finding the idea of motherhood suffocating and her dreams slipping from her hands, Efe disappears. If you're looking for a feel good story, I'm going to tell you right now to put the book down. This is not for you. If you're looking for a story that is raw and manages to capture the realities and complexities of holding on to relationships where both parties have separate visions of what they want the relationships to be, and the conflicts that arise from failing to communicate and accept this reality. If you're looking for a story about the pressures placed on women when it comes to motherhood and childbearing, and the sacrifices they're expected to make to fill this role. Sweetie, this is the book for you. Prefacing my thoughts with a quick disclaimer. This book pissed me off immensely so if you start feeling some heat radiating from whatever device you're currently streaming on no, your device isn't overheating. That's my rage from the events that occur in this book bubbling up and transcending from my mouth and into your device. I won't be liable for any damages. I'm about to dig into this book in a bit, so if you don't want spoilers, this is your cue to click out the episode. If you're intrigued by the premise and don't mind spoilers, stay with me. Stay with me. Also, if it feels like I'm digging into Sam's ass, yes, I am. Part One. Conform. Conform. Conform. Efe has constantly stifled her own desires to pursue the desires other people have for her. It's clear from the narrative that Efe is very soft spoken and lacks a strong will from a young age. Unfortunately, this makes her an opportune victim for other people to trample on her wants and shove their own to the forefront. And this is what Efe has had to deal with since she was a child. From when she was entering uni with her parents, dictating what she studied, to when she left uni and entered relationships, with her parents and extended family and friends pushing her towards marriage and children. In the story, she admits that her parents have dictated things in her life, like who she's friends with and all her wants. This pressure to bend and conform to her parent's will. This lack of opportunity to explore her own wants and desires has resulted in Efe experiencing hesitancy determining what she really wants when she does get a chance to do so. You see throughout the story how this hesitancy to determine her desires only feeds into her inability to hold true to the convictions she does have. it's a never ending loop of Efe being susceptible to the will and desires of others. Unfortunately, Efe’s susceptibility to external pressures doesn't start and end with her parents, but carries over into her relationships, specifically her relationship with Sam. Part Two. Sister... That Man Wants You Dead. I genuinely find men like Sam much more terrifying than your run of the mill, overt misogynist who proudly pledges their allegiance to the patriarchy through their words and actions. Men like Sam, who attempt to distance themselves from their participation in patriarchy through words alone and present themselves as an “outlier” or “safe haven” for women to exist outside their pre-established roles within a patriarchal society, only to go mask off once a woman has shown her commitment to him, are much more terrifying to me. Here, a woman might be fool to believe she's hit the lottery. You know, found the cheat code to erase or minimize the presence of patriarchy and resulting misogyny that comes with dating men, particularly cishet men. Come to find out, he's playing the exact same games as an overt misogynist, only with a different strategy. There are two convictions Efe holds on to the tightest in the story: one, her job and two not wanting kids. When Sam and Efe get married, it's already been understood through conversations the two have had that Efe has no interest in children. Reading this book you hang around Efe for more than two minutes in her adulthood. You know this girl don't want no damn kids. What Efe to realize, however, is that Sam has taken it upon himself to add terms and conditions to Efe’s stance on kids. Sam realizes Efe doesn't want kids but he chalks up the reason for this being due to her lacking stability in her previous relationships and career. Efe and Sam attend a baby shower shortly after they've married. At the shower, when asked about when she's having kids, Efe explicitly states, for everybody and they mama, including Sam, to hear that she is not doing that. That being having children, Samuel. Not the full government. Oh, you know, I'm pissed off. Samuel, who hears this, has a moment of introspection where he recalls other comments Efe has made during their relationship. And I quote “Dozens of offhand remarks over the years that always seemed to say the same thing in one way or the other. Usually he shrugs them off, but now the thoughts percolate.” End quote. Samuel. SAM. UEL. I'm actually terrified. Here, this man is telling us that... oh, she's actually made it clear she highkey doesn't want kids, but I'm actually going to just close my ears and act like I ain't hear. Even worse, the language he uses comes across very manipulative and gaslighty. He says she made remarks that “seemed” to say the same thing. Samuel, if I actually slapped that derry mouth. No, he's actually sick. Efe’s been saying point blank, she don't want kids for the whole world to hear. Yet his words and demeanor come across as though she's unsure in her assertions, or is making these vague statements that are open for interpretation. And you're telling me this same man doesn't want her dead? This realization on his part that, maybe my wife hasn't been making jokey jokes about not wanting children is moot anyhow. Because shortly after Efe’s declaration, when asked by his sister when he and Efe are having kids, this useless man's reply clearly leaves the door open to that possibility. His internal musings shining the flood light on a crucial reason why. His thoughts read, “It’s a big deal now, but maybe when they're older, she'll warm to the idea. That biological alarm will go off and this big thing between them will simply cease to exist.” Efe is a woman. Women are made to have children, so inevitably, Efe will feel called to fulfill her role as a woman and have kids. Bioessentialism. It's as simple as that. Part Three. Coercion and Manipulation. I'm sure there are arguments mounting in the wings about the lack of accountability I'm assigning to Efe and her role in her situation. I would be more open to entertain such arguments If the community Efe had didn't display behavior that looked like abuse. The pressure of motherhood being the default for women, and the threat of isolation from community, a large portion being blood relatives, that we see wasn't exactly an empty threat when, Efe’s mother, essentially disowns her when she aborts her second pregnancy. At a gathering of her community, when Efe and Sam first get together a priest states, and I quote, “As a community, we will not support the poor decisions” unquote, to which all those in attendance nod their agreement. Excuse me. What kind of... Is it not in the midst and aftermath of poor decisions, within reason, chile, within reason, that people need the most support? This is the culture you exist in and you wonder why Efe, who's already shaky when it comes to holding on to her beliefs and aspirations, is the way she is and succumbs to pressures and has a child. That she doesn't want. The threat of what happens if you don't conform to society's perception of what your role is and entails. You get kicked to the curb. You get left out in the cold to figure - out on your own. In the face of isolation and abandonment, I can understand a bit why people give in to societal pressures like Efe did. You also understand why Efe doesn't advocate more for herself and what she wants. Why she defaults to the wants others have for her. Outside the threat of isolation- give me a second because I'm getting pissed off even recalling this shit- Outside the threat of isolation are the manipulative tactics Sam employs to coerce Efe into having a child. That I'm not too shy to label psychological warfare if not abuse. Filling their home with baby toys and furniture. Planting them in areas where Efe will see them and feel guilt. Adding to the pressure she's already feeling. Sorry. I'm actually terrified. I've yet to mention Sam employing Efe’s mother, someone he's well aware Efe does not have the best relationship with, and has a history of conceding to at the detriment of her own physical and mental health. Despite knowing all of this. Sam proceeds to employ Efe’s mom to add on to the pressure Efe already feels about having children. This is actually the bad place. With all these factors, plus knowing Efe’s personal history struggling with depression, you can understand why I'm not foaming at the mouth to disparage her on how her own action or inaction led her to her current situation. I just wish Efe had better community around her that she could rely on. I wish Sam faced front and unpacked his own trauma from abandonment in his childhood that had him wanting children so bad. Up and far away from Efe. I wish Efe didn't feel that choosing herself would be met with isolation. I wish the child birthed from their marriage didn't have to suffer abandonment and the loss of a parent. I wish. I wish. I wish. But a wish and 25 cents just gets me a quarter, chile. On that positive note. Flip or skip. This book is a goddamn flip, and I gave it 3.75 out of five stars. It's something about a well-executed plot with characters that are well fleshed out. When it comes to side characters like Efe's mother, sister, and extended family or Sam's family, I do wish more time had been spent building up these characters, just because I feel like they were a vital part of who both Sam and Efe are, and why they do the things that they do and make the decisions that they make. They did fall a bit flat for me. I think the author did a good job, though, showing Efe’s struggles holding true to her convictions under the pressures of her close family and friends. I also got to give the author props for fleshing out the complexities in love and marriage, especially when it comes to Sam. The portrayal of trauma from his childhood that he still carried and obviously had done no work to dissect, and how it inserted itself and ravaged his relationship with Efe... Gold star. No notes. I'll still be dealing with that man personally at the end of the day. Anyways, that's it for this episode. If you enjoyed it, please like and subscribe to the pod. I'll catch you on the next episode. Buh byeeee.
