Ep 9 | Rosewater: A Sapphic Best Friends to Lovers Read

Welcome back to episode 9 of Flip the Page. Today, we're going to be digging through a Black sapphic romance book and the best friends to lovers trope.

Rosewater by Liv Little is a Black sapphic romance that tells the story of Elsie, a 28-year-old aspiring poet, living in London, who has struggled finding a stable home ever since she was sixteen and left her house. At the beginning of the story, she is evicted from her apartment and reaches out to her best friend, Juliet, who she has not spoken to in 3 months, to ask to stay with her while she finds a way to get back on her feet. As the story progresses after she moves into Juliet’s apartment, you see Elsie struggling with finding and defining “home”, regulating and expressing her emotions, her relationship with Juliet, and coming to terms with her feelings for Juliet.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:43 Overview (spoiler free)
• 3:37 Content Warning
• 3:43 Part I: Instability
• 11:39 Part II: The Shift
• 15:06 Part III: Rosewater
• 18:15 Part IV: A Selfish Confession
• 24:24 Part V: Reconciliation
• 25:00 Flip or Skip

Transcript

0:01

[Intro Music] Hey y'all. Welcome back to episode nine of Flip the Page. I'm your host, Zo. And today we're going to be talking about Rosewater by Liv Little and the best friends to lovers trope. Let me just get this over with right out the gate before y'all have time to gather your tomatoes. I am not a best friends to lovers enjoyer. Now hold on. Before anyone jumps me, let me be more specific. I am not a best friends to lovers enjoyer, when the best friends in question have been friends for a hot minute. If you've been friends for a couple of years, sure, I'll swallow down my eye rolls and go with it. But please don't have someone who's 30 years old pining for their friend in a ten plus year long unrequited love. Like babes. At this point, we're grown. Cough up your feelings and keep it pushin. If the plot of a book runs like this, I fear it's going to lose me. Unless the author puts that pen to work. My biggest qualm about the best friends to lovers trope is the reasoning why whoever holds feelings for the other refuses to admit them. And look, maybe I'm being mean, but not wanting to risk your friendship falling apart just ain't a good enough reason for me. I'll let the kids have it because their kids, though I probably won't read it. But when it comes to grown folk, I need authors to come up with something else. If you can't, you're going to have to just hold this L when it comes to the rating. This brings us to Rosewater by Liv Little, a Black Sapphic romance that tells the story of Elsie, a 28 year old aspiring poet living in London who has struggled finding a stable home ever since she was 16 and left her house. Why the hell am I continuously reading books set in London? Like, what am I doing? Anyway. At the beginning of the story, Elsie's evicted from her apartment and reaches out to her best friend Juliet, who she has not spoken to in three months, to ask to stay with her while she finds a way to get back on her feet. As the story progresses, after she moves into Juliet's apartment, you see Elsie struggling with finding and defining home, regulating and expressing her emotions, her relationship with Juliet, and coming to terms with her feelings for Juliet. This book delves into issues of homelessness and defining what home is through the eyes of Elsie and the impact child neglect and the belief you are unneeded, unwanted and worthless, instilled by your parents as a child and reasserted by systems and society as a whole, have on your ability to hold and maintain deep relationships in adulthood. The book also dug into unconditional love and reciprocity in relationships. More specifically through Elsie and Juliet's relationship, determining if unconditional love can persist in the face of a lack of reciprocity. Initially when I read this book, my rating wasn't looking too cute. I'm not even going to lie, it was not looking cute. But as I reread it and really dug into the issues, Elsie and Juliet face individually and the issues at the crux of the conflict and tension in their relationship, Liv Little. Oh girl, you made sure I bumped my rating of your book up. If you don't want spoilers, here's your cue to pause and come back to this episode after you've read the book. Or you can skip ahead to my rating at the end of the episode. Content warnings for financial struggle and homelessness, and a brief mention of drugging. Part One. Instability. The instability of Elsie’s life coupled with a childhood of neglect are instrumental in understanding Elsie and her struggles, especially when it comes to her struggle entering romantic relationships. Elsie didn't experience much of a childhood. When her twin siblings were born in her early teens, her parents expected her to cook, clean and care for the twins while in school herself because they couldn't afford a nanny. Exhausted and tired by the parental role she was placed in, Elsie's grades started to slip. Her mother was unsympathetic, while her father stayed complicit with silence. No outlet was available in her home, as their home wasn't one where anyone spoke up about how they felt. So at home, Elsie was resigned to stew in her exhaustion and the overbearing weight of her responsibilities. You see this manifest in her adulthood with her inability to express her emotions and struggles talking about issues she's dealing with. After receiving detention one day after a missed homework deadline, Elsie was late picking up her siblings, which led to her mother cussing her out, shouting at her to leave if she couldn't keep up with her responsibilities, which Elsie did at 16 years old. Elsie's mom's invalidation of her feelings and struggles is the exact rhetoric that you see lauded against her ever since, by institutions and individuals that Elsie encounters as she goes through her late teens and adulthood.

You see the same cycle of violence: 5:11

the invalidation of Elsie's desires and being needed or valued, repeated throughout the book as Elsie struggles maintaining and securing housing and a job. After being evicted from her apartment Elsie goes with Juliet to the housing association to get an appeal. Internally, Elsie states, and I quote, “My internal monologue is practically reminding me of the way this interaction will go... how it has always gone. Me being ignored, dismissed, unheard.” Elsie ends up leaving the housing association before speaking with anyone, which I believe is due to being traumatized from that constant violence of being ignored and devalued since she was a child. How are you meant to fight for yourself when the world constantly tells you you're not someone worth fighting for? So she runs away. And it breaks my heart, truly because I know that voice in Elsie's head, reminding her of how little she's valued and seen by others. I know that voice in her head sounds just like her mother's Oh Elsie, boo! Oh! Come here. Adults. The systems of this world. They truly failed you. The instability in Elsie's home life as a child carried over from her late teens to adulthood, when she left her home at 16. There were periods where she had some semblance of security, but they were brief. She lived at a youth hostel for two and a half years after leaving home, before being offered a studio. Elsie reminisces about the elation she felt at the time. Though the studio wasn't the nicest, it was hers. However, she was forced to relocate to another apartment shortly after, where she lived until the beginning of the story, when she is forcibly evicted. And here she is again, losing another home. Elsie's life has been a series of displacements and instability. Even places she previously called home she never really had agency over. She always existed in these spaces at the whims of other people. I believe this instability and her struggles being vulnerable due to trauma from child neglect and devaluation are the reasons why she struggles entering a romantic relationship with Juliet, her best friends since they were children. When Elsie is evicted from her home at the beginning of the story, she turns to Juliet for help. Who she hasn't spoken to in three months. You learn this reason for this gap in communication between the two was due to Juliet confessing her feelings for Elsie, which Elsie responded to with silence. Yeah. Now put the tomatoes down, y'all, and hear my sister Elsie out for a second. Okay? Give her a second. I don't think Elsie has the emotional nor mental bandwidth for a romantic relationship, and her instability has caused her to create a separation between herself and Juliet. When Elsie first moves into Juliet's home and catches Juliet up with the SparkNotes version of her current situation, Elsie makes a comment about how the apartment she just lost is the first place she'd settled in, that felt like it could be a forever home. Elsie starts to feel tears and emotions bubbling up inside of her, and immediately shows that shit down, not wanting to be vulnerable. Juliet mentions how that was the first place Elsie had let her see since she left home. And Elsie responds saying Juliet wouldn't like the other place that she lived in. Juliet replies to this by saying, and I quote, “I love you, Els. I love anywhere that you call home.” Julia's love for Elsie is so beautifully unconditional. With these words, Juliet reaffirms her love for Elsie by making it clear, it’s not the physical structure, that makes Elsie's home for Juliet. It's Elsie herself. Sorry, I could cry because it's really not everyone who’ll love you through poverty and financial insecurity. Look, people see you start struggling and go ghost! Elsie's response to Juliet's words does not reach out to bridge the gap between them. No. My sister pushes back, widening it. Elsie tells Juliet that we aren't the same. Her home is hers, and she doesn't expect Juliet to get it. You can really see the insecurity and embarrassment Elsie feels with her situation causes her to distance herself from Juliet. There's other instances in the novel where Juliet tries to get Elsie to open up and be more vulnerable with her. In one such instance, Elsie replies,“I don't need you to therapize me.” She says this attempting to be playful, but the exhaustion that she feels in the moment carries through. This reaction causes visceral hurt in Juliet's expression, and I think there's a struggle between the two of them reaching a balance when it comes to being open and vulnerable with each other. On one hand, I believe Juliet's desire to get Elsie to be open and vulnerable and pushing her to work to achieve some form of financial security for herself stems from a place of genuine love. However, I do think sometimes it can come across as overbearing and condescending, even if that's not what she intends it to be. Almost as if she was speaking to a child, when really Juliet and Elsie have not had the same experiences. While Juliet has struggled she's never had to deal with child neglect or homelessness. I think this parental role Juliet sometimes plays, and the difference in their situations and the insecurities that arise in Elsie from those differences, caused Elsie to distance herself from Juliet. And truly, how can I fault her for this? Juliet's moved forward while Elsie's remained stuck. How can I fault someone for hesitating to get close to someone when these insecurities exist and when they've constantly had to prove their humanity to other people, including their own parents. People who are meant to see that humanity in you and provides you a safe space to struggle and be vulnerable. While staying at Juliet's apartment. Elsie's distancing from Juliet is reflected in the language and actions she takes in relation to Juliet's home. She is cognizant to remind herself and Juliet that she is a guest in Juliet’s home. For example, Juliet presses her to use the heat in her room, as that particular room is always freezing, but Elsie refuses, conscious that this is not her space. When Juliet's friends first come over, Elsie forces herself to meet them because, as she states, “Saying no doesn't feel like an option. She's a guest.” And I ask you, how can you expect the possibility of a relationship to arise between the two when this is their dynamic? The dynamic of their relationship is one where even the thought of a possible romance happening can't be conceived by Elsie. That is, until things start to shift. Part Two. The Shift. At Juliet's encouragement, Elsie recites one of her poems at a poetry night. The poem centers around home and Elsie's feelings surrounding home and her struggles defining it. Throughout the poem, her definitions of home shift mirroring her instability in the way she tests these different conclusions for what home is. As the poem continues, you see Elsie start playing around with the idea that home isn't necessarily one place or even a physical one. One recurrent theme appears in the poem Elsie reads, quote,“Home is where I don't have to put my hood up.” Unquote. For Elsie, home is a safe space. Early in the book, Elsie states, sex and poetry are her safe spaces. She wants to become self-sufficient off her poetry, but that isn't working out for her. So for a while, her only safe space really has been sex. Sex and poetry are comfortable and familiar to her. Though each functions differently. Poetry is an area where Elsie tends to bare herself. In her poems, we get a peek into her innermost thoughts and feelings as seen in the two poems she reads in the story. Sex serves more so as a distraction seen through specific moments Elsie seeks out sex or flirtation in the story. Whenever she's confronted with deep emotions, or when Elsie begins to feel overwhelmed by her emotions, she turns to sex to distract her from those feelings. Growing up, Elsie indicates two other safe spaces

that existed for her: 13:05

her Nan’s home and Juliet. When she felt overwhelmed and exhausted in her home life, her Nan and Juliet served as a reprieve, with Juliet being her confidante as a child. In a way, I think Juliet functioned as a mother figure for Elsie growing up. Which is why you see Elsie likening her to a mother and emphasizing Juliet's maternal qualities throughout the beginning of the story. When Elsie was younger, I think that's what she needed. A space for her to be a child, that unconditional love and understanding she never received from her mother, she found with Juliet. Until Juliet moved away prior to Elsie leaving her home. Following Elsie leaving her home and facing financial and housing instability, I believe Elsie started to shift away from this perception of Juliet as a safe space due to her own insecurities and shame around her situation. A perception I think puts Elsie off in adulthood. Having a friend her age acting maternally towards her could be jarring. Given they're the same age, it could come across as condescending and just serve as a reminder that Elsie isn't financially secure and “behind” in life. This shift in their friendship dynamic due to her situation is uncharted for Elsie. And I think it dismantles the safe space she once found in Juliet. As the book progresses and Elsie opens up to Juliet, you see her stripping Juliet of this maternal label as her perception of Juliet evolves gradually from a maternal figure to a potential lover. You see this shift in the language Elsie uses to describe Juliet's apartment when her parents come visit. Elsie says, quote, “I also don't really want them in my and Juliet’s space, a space that has come to feel safe.” The apartment Elsie once referred to as Juliet's alone, she is now claiming as theirs, and a space where she feels safe. Juliet has reemerged for Elsie as a safe space. Elsie underlines the symbolism of Juliet as a safe space in a subsequent reading of another one of her poems for a book deal competition. A poem which we learn is her love confession to Juliet. Part Three. Rosewater. “Rosewater”. The title of Elsie's poem for Juliet. Where are the real lovers at? This one is for the real lovers out there. In her poem, Elsie bares herself completely to Juliet for the first time. In the poem, she describes Juliet as, quote “She who smells like a rose and rose me from the ashes” This is a clear acknowledgment of the role Juliet plays in breathing life into Elsie, helping her bounce back after her eviction, physically and emotionally. Elsie goes on to describe how Juliet“Placed petals in parts of me I thought were too barren to bloom” These lines voicing how Juliet revives those parts in Elsie she thought were dead. Her ability not only to write poems, but to love. In Elsie's first poem, where she's talking about home, there's a line that reads, quote.“It has found a way to wickedly reside in a body” Initially, I wasn't sure what to make of that line, but I think I got it when she read out the following in Rosewater in reference to Juliet, and I quote,“You are my blood, or in my blood” Juliet has woven herself into Elsie. By stating Juliet is in her blood, Elsie is admitting out loud Juliet is not only a part of her, Juliet is her home. Oh, Liv... That pen was hot. That pen was hot. Elsie continues the poem, emphasizing necessity. A line reads, “Her room stores a camera. And yet I have never felt watched. Just felt like a necessity.” Another line reads, quote,“She selected me,” unquote. Girl. GIRL. I need a minute. The implications these two lines have. Juxtaposing how Elsie must have felt growing up in her home with this idea of being a necessity to Juliet. Bitch. Growing up, being seen as a burden, devalued and unwanted. To now have someone not simply want you, but need you and choose you. Girl. This distinction defines Elsie as being something indispensable and irreplaceable in Juliet's life. For someone who has been so easily discarded by others, I think that's something so beautiful. Oh, Liv! Oh, Liv... she knew she was going to get me to bump that rating up. What was I thinking my first read? The poem ends with the lines. “You. You. You. The rose to my water. The water to my rose.” Y’all. I'm going to jump. I'm not even a romantic at heart and I'm going to jump. I'mma leapfrog off this building. This poem is so beautifully crafted. And Elsie presents it for the first time in front of Juliet. However, Elsie doesn't get a chance to gauge Juliet's reaction or get a response from her because Juliet has to leave at the tail end of the night to fly off to Japan with her soon to be boyfriend. Yes, you heard me right I said soon to be boyfriend, and unfortunately, Elsie is not met with the best response when Juliet does return from her trip. Part Four. A Selfish Confession. Elsie's confession is so beautifully vulnerable, yet inherently indicative of her selfishness. I don't even want to talk bad about my sister because that's my sister. But I got to do it. I got to do it. The irony of her confession can't be ignored when, in her poem“Rosewater”, Elsie says, quote, “You chant for me and I let you. I chant your name and you don't even know I do. I chant for you, and I'm not even sure I know how to.” And herein lies the major error in Elsie's confession. Her relationship with Juliet has not been reciprocal. Yeah, I said it. I said it. Oh, I didn't want to say it, but I said it. Juliet has been open and vulnerable with Elsie. Functioning as a support system for her. In return, Elsie is closed off and guarded. Not one to reveal her feelings, nor a place for Juliet to really fall to for support. Juliet is a safe space for Elsie, but Elsie is not a safe space for Juliet. When Juliet is struggling emotionally because of things at her job, Elsie participates halfheartedly in the conversation before moving past it, not wanting to engage with Juliet's emotions. When Juliet confessed her feelings to Elsie, Elsie ghosted her. Y’all... When Juliet confessed her feelings to Elsie, Elsie ghosted her. Your childhood friend. Your childhood friend. Your childhood best friend. Best friends in adulthood, she went ghost, y’all. She disappeared. Vanished. No communication, nothing. She didn't say shit.[Dramatic Gasp] Oh, Elsie. Babes, what are we doing? What are we doing? Even if it's to say no, we got to say something. Oh, if you want to stay best friends, you gotta at least acknowledge it, babes. Oh, no. It was crickets from her. Oh, I can't even linger. Elsie only reopened conversation with Juliet when she needed somewhere to stay. Oh my God, this is wild. But desperate times. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Look, one thing about it. I'mma stand behind Elsie and her choices. I might be far behind, but I'm behind her. Know that. Any time Juliet even indicated toward having a conversation about the confession, not even to force her own feelings on Elsie, but to get some acknowledgment about her feelings or just a conversation in and of itself. Elsie squashed it. There's a moment as well, shortly after, Elsie moves into Juliet's apartment, where Elsie brings someone back home to sleep with. And oh, Elsie, I don't know. Moving into your best friend's apartment who you aired after they confessed their feelings for you a couple months ago, and proceeding to bring someone back to the apartment you're sharing to sleep with while your best friend is there? Oh, decisions were made. None of them good. I think in a lot of ways you see, Elsie’s selfishness when it comes to the love she receives from Juliet and how she takes it for granted. I'm whacking my sister so bad. Elsie it’s all out of love. This all coming from a place of love. I need you to know that. In one part of the book, Elsie states internally that Juliet loves her unconditionally and will always show up no matter what.[Deep sigh] Elsie. Babe. Elsie. Elsie, how many times did I call your name? While this may be true, I feel like everyone has a breaking point when a relationship doesn't feel reciprocal. And you see, Juliet reached this breaking point when she returns from her trip, rejects Elsie's confession, and enters into a relationship with an asshole of a man. Juliet has poured so much of herself into Elsie. As much as it pains me to admit, Elsie continuously takes Juliet's care and love for granted. And I think you see that off that quote alone. You want Juliet to be there for you when you need her, but when she needs you it’s crickets... I think it’s very hard for a love like Juliet feels for Elsie to persist, when you feel you’re never receiving anything back, at least not in the ways that matter to you. Do I think Elsie is being selfish intentionally? No, I don't. I think it's just the way she's wired. Elsie grew up in a home where she wasn't able to express herself and didn't properly learn how to regulate her emotions, and then on top of that, she's also been dealing with financial and housing instability, which I truly think renders her incapable of functioning as emotional support for Juliet. She's drained. Look y’all. I get that Elsie's lowkey selfish and takes advantage of Juliet's feelings. But when you deep, why? Pookie! Come here. I'll protect you from the haters. it's tough for me to be hard on her when I truly do think her issues with the reciprocity in her relationship with Juliet stemmed from Elsie being a product of her environment and a victim of a shit system, so I can't help but extend her empathy when it comes to her shortcomings in their relationship. If Elsie got no supporters just know, I’m dead. The thing is, however, Elsie needs to be prepared for the consequences of those shortcomings, and it's clear she isn't and hasn't even fathomed these consequences to begin with. Which is understandable because it's only when she starts tasting stability that she even understands the feelings that she's always held for Juliet. It touches back to that quote I mentioned earlier, where Elsie mentions Juliet's love being unconditional. Juliet is a constant in Elsie's life, where everything else is not. She is stability. I believe this is why it's almost easy for Elsie to take Juliet's feelings for granted. And part of the reason why Elsie could ghost Juliet and pop back into her life outside the desperation of her situation at the time. Subconsciously, Elsie knows and believes Juliet will always be there for her. I think this knowledge helps her minimize the act of ghosting Juliet and the gravity of Juliet's feelings, not only for Elsie but in general. As Elsie grows more stability and assuredness in her emotions, she realizes her feelings for Juliet. Unfortunately, it’s just a little too late. Part Five. Reconciliation. Elsie and Juliet do ultimately get together in the final act of the novel, an act I'm still shaky about just due to the events that transpired. A misogynistic blackmailing, boyfriend, drugs and a terrible accident result in Juliet being severely injured and hospitalized in a coma. You see the roles reversed between Juliet and Elsie, with Elsie now being the caretaker and the support in the relationship. When Juliet finally wakes up, they share a kiss as the novel ends, suggesting the two are on their way to getting together. And that's it for Rosewater. Flip or Skip. This book was flip. And y’all... Truly... I suggest you tap in. Actually, I'm not suggesting, I demand you tap in. I tried to give the book justice in this review, but you truly won't get it until you consume it. So I need you to fix yourself a plate and get to eating. And this is coming from the number one best friends to lovers hater. The reasoning behind Elsie's inability to acknowledge her own feelings for Juliet up until a point in the novel just made so much sense, and I feel it wasn't a reason that you see a lot in romance books. Oh my God, just tap into it. When it comes to the final, like 20 pages of the book, I have thoughts and most of them negative about the general direction the author took, but I'm overlooking that because the rest of the book was just too much of a serve. So this book is coming hard with a four out of five star rating. Liv Little... You did your big one. Anywho, I'm going to shut the hell up because I feel this episode is about to be long as hell, and I'm not trying to keep y’all. If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like or drop a comment. Or even if you want to discuss the book, don't hesitate to hit up the comment section or me directly at my socials. I'll catch y’all in next week's episode where we'll be circling back to the heteros in a Black romance book. Until next time. Buh byeeee.